Quick answer to prayer

Seemed like something was burdening Obi-Wan tonight. So I ask what's up. He got a medical bill in that he opened today from his hospital stay a few weeks ago. He said he owed $9000.

He doesn't have that kind of money. So we prayed. The CEO always covers my financial wackiness one way or another. Why not Obi-Wan's $9000 bill.

After we prayed I asked if I could see the bill. I thought maybe there was something on there indicating that medicaid would help pay or something else I could interpret.

I read his bill. It was for nine-hundred, not nine-thousand. He had misread it.

I thought it was funny. An answer to our prayer, no less. But funny.

CEO - please bring my financial needs in a quick way as well. Thank you.

Offense is in the eye of the beholder

The last church I was a part of was an independent, non-denominational one. OK...a charismatic church.

Charismatic churches seem to have a high turn over rate. That's a different post entirely.

But when someone who was once a part of one is no longer around...for ANY reason...they are always written off as "offended".

You know...they are offended. They just got mad and left. They have "issues" and they need to humble themselves and give it to the CEO. They're walking in "rebellion".

Offense, having issues, and rebellion: these are black-ball type labels. Or even a tar-n-feather type of scapegoating.

About a year ago I ran into the wife of one of the drummers I use to jam with, Antonio. He's the best drummer in the fair mother city. We were in the parking lot of HEB grocery and she just started spilling her frustration with some of the abuse tactics in the church and its leadership (she knew I wasn't there anymore). I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to add any fuel to her fire. Plus, if church people knew she had talked to me (the poisoned one) they'd down-play me as offended, and thus one with no credibility. But I fully understood where she was coming from. I figured the CEO would make clear instructions for her and her husband in how to proceed.

I recently had opportunity to hang out with a bunch of people from the old charismatic club days at a birthday party. I don't care what they think of me anymore. I've got nothing to hide. So during a conversation with an old guitar playing buddy of mine I asked what happened to Antonio and his family.

"Oh, he got offended at something and left the church. I still see him now and then. He's working through some stuff".

??!?!?

I wonder if those money changers in the temple thought Jesus was a little "offended".

You know, he's mad and has some issues to work through...

Jesus will get back on board with us one day...

spot light

Just added a couple of link to the agent network. Stop by if you get a chance.

In the fair mother city: the anti-goats are planning to do agent work in Tanzania one day.

In the ever growing agent network from the greater Boston area: the why man is a former Four Square pastor and...oh, just read. It's funny and well written.

Happy birthday Obi-Wan

He turned 89 today.

I'd post some photos from our outing at "Furr's Fine Dining", but I can't figure how to edit me out of them. Maybe I'll post one later. So here's a couple that Agent Wife managed to remake into a birthday card.

This one is on our fridge. He's holding Agent Offspring and making faces.



This is one from basic training in Cheyenne, WY in 1942. I found it for the first time last night. Just when I thought I've seen all his photos, here's this excellent gem. I stare at it and all the emotions of a young farm boy headed off to war in a foreign land jump at me: fear, innocence, confusion, youthfulness...There's a whole world ahead of him.

We had a good time tonight. His 2 nurses and one of their husbands joined us. He's known them for years.

Happy birthday Obi-Wan. We love you.

Obi-Wan Tales Chapter VI: white flag

My friend and neighbor Obi-Wan grew up on a farm in Chilton, TX (right outside of Waco). Being a farm boy, he learned hard work since early childhood. And he had learned to be thankful for what he had since farm life went through seasons of plenty and seasons of lack.

I recently heard him tell a story that slaps the religious-ness out of the over-used, modern-day churchy word "community":

During a interview by Agent S (for a school paper), Obi-Wan told of how poor black people of the 1920-30s in rural Chilton, TX helped each other in time of need. When a family was low on resources, they'd put a white flag on their porch.

That's it.

Like a secret code, it somehow signaled to the other neighbors that the family with the flag was in need. And thus all the neighbors that had extra produce, meat, finances, whatever, would bring it over.

I mean...I'm speechless. What the hell has happened to us in the last 70-80 years? OK...we've got isolation devices like TV, computers, etc.

...and maybe pride.

Plight of the poor #001: crappy cars

My next door neighbor, Frieda Sanford, had to get her car towed home today. It wouldn't start wherever she parked it last.

Frieda goes through cars like Oprah goes through baked hams. It seems like Frieda has a different car every 4-6 months. I've been driving for 19 years and I'm on my 4th car, and one of those came through marriage.

Like all people, Frieda drives only what she can afford. And she can only afford cars that have been through 2 or 3 previous owners. When her car starts giving her trouble and her boys (The Tiger & The Bulldog) or boyfriend (Manuel) can't fix it, she goes to one of these used car joints and trades it in. These places charge low monthly payments and high interest for a car that could have been bought outright for $1500-$2000.

Except this time she actually bought this car outright from an individual. Her previous car was a '98 Buick which was the best car she ever owned. But a relative did the math on her payments and realized she was paying over $7000 for that car. This made her feel like she was getting ripped off. So she took the Buick back and bought a car with a "for sale" sign in a parking lot on Mockingbird Ln.

But the Buick never gave her problems.

In everything she buys, Frieda always goes cheap. Regardless of how long or little something lasts, she always buys the product with the smaller price.

Most of the poor doesn't understand the concept of "you get what you pay for".

But then again, they can only afford the worst. So maybe they do.

hey you...

Hey you, the budding young agent (or "the one called to missions" or "ministry"...whatever. Take your pick).

What are you doing? I mean...are you trying to get your ducks in a row or something? Why?!? If the CEO told you to get your affairs in order, then who am I to question. But really...when the CEO gives you an assignment, you just GO. Let the dead bury the dead, etc.

Unless, of course, he's telling you your assignment in advance. In which, timing is an obvious issue. I can relate to that.

But really, is your assignment delay based on you trying to dance to the tune of others? Is it that you're dependent on their MONEY? Like a supporting church, letter writing compaign, etc? Again...if that's his instructions, then keep dancing. Otherwise, get out of your comfort zone. The CEO won't call you to something without giving you the supplies you need to live. And sometimes those supplies come just before you need them. So what. Trust me. They'll be there. It's called faith.

No worries necessary.

blog conversation

"Toward Simplicity" is the official blog for my friend Jack, of the agent network in the fair mother city. A while back he invited me and a few others to be guest contributors, for which I'm honored.

A great discussion has evolved on my recent contribution about the National Day of Prayer ordeal in the fair mother city coming up May 4. The discussion somehow evolved into a talk on how we go about doing the great commision in today's context, etc.

The comments are pretty lengthy, but if you got the time, I recommend the read. And don't be shy to join in...

Garden files #004: it's alive

Nine days after planting, it looks as though all 10 different crops are in full swing. Each of the 8 seed crops, including the 3 I have no experience with (carrot, spinach, and butternut squash) seem to be going well. [photo: butternut squash. Planted 6 to a "hill" and will eventually be thinned to 3]



I have thinned out the multiples. That is, when planting I usually put 2-3 seeds per hole in case one or more seeds were bad. And thankfully, none this year seem to be bad (a testimony to the dollar store's seeds...and our soil, I guess). After the seeds start budding, they have to be thinned. Otherwise the 2 or 3 per hole will have to fight for soil and water, making all 3 pathetic and weak. It almost hurts to do this because it seems like a waste and you want to see them all grow. Few will find the narrow path... [photo: bell pepper and tomato plants]



I will thin out certain crops for spacing within the next few weeks. That really sucks to pull up healthy growing plants. [photo: yellow squash - eventually will be thinned to only 2 plants in this row]








Over all...an excellent start. Unfortunately, I have a natural tendency to meddle with things. If I can just leave the garden alone enough to let things go their intended course...

...like relationships the CEO puts before me daily. I can squeeze the life out of them by controlling every aspect. Or let them go into the CEO's hands and just be "available" for occasional watering and thinning.

Hopefully I won't accidentally kill off this crop before July 4, which is my own target date for a "successful" garden.

WWJV

Where on earth do we get the idea that Jesus would vote this way or that way?

I don't think Jesus would vote for anyone. Jesus was homeless. The son of man had no place to lay his head. You gotta have a residency and lay your head somewhere to legally vote.

Hey...there's an idea on skating past the "you un-american, want something for nothing, non-voter" jive. Be homeless. Check-mate.

On issues involving the poor and social injustices:

Republicans: basically have a "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" mentality. You're poor because you made bad mistakes. So you deal with it. Don't ask me for nothing.

Democrats: basically want to give out assistance forever, funded by higher taxes, thus creating the idolatry of one people being dependent on another.

I know those are both over-generalizations on both US political parties. But both examples seem like crappy, non Jesus-like responses.

I'm not quite at the place to suggest not voting. But I wouldn't advise outsourcing one's subversive faith to politics. Don't expect politics to save man...

Garden files #003: radishes

Five days after planting the garden, the radishes have made contact with the real world. I expected that. We've had them every year and they are the quickest crop.

Just when you wonder if anything will become of the seeds, the radishes always pull through in the first few days. Which is funny, because who really eats radishes as a meal? I like them, but they're usually a decorative thing in salads, and rarely eaten whole. Well...I pull them out of the ground, wash them off with a hose and eat them whole right there in the garden. I like doing stuff like that.

Kind of like prayer and waiting...the CEO can pull though with something real quick during the waiting game. And when he does, sometimes we take him for granted and don't notice. Maybe because it's not the big thing we were waiting for. It was just like a radish or something.

A world of worth

Several times throughout the past year Obi-Wan thinks he is hearing voices coming from his TV. But his TV is off. So when I visit, he asks if I can hear those voices coming from the TV, thinking that maybe it's volume is on but the picture is off and perhaps I could fix it. But there's nothing to fix. The TV is off and I hear no voices.

Today he asked me if I could hear that voice coming from the TV. "No", I said. But this time I asked him what was it saying.

"Well...it's a woman singing"

"What's she singing?"

"She's singing 'A world of worth to be alive'"

"I've never heard of that song, Obi-Wan. Is that an old song you know?"

"No. It's just what she's singing"

I know this sounds stupid and perhaps "touched by an angel" -ish, but every time he hears these voices and singing I've wondered if his time to pass is near. Like maybe something heavenly is singing him home.

I can't stand the thought, but it's kind of comforting as well.

Garden files #002: the waiting game

I know it's only been a few days since the garden was planted. But this is the worst time of the gardening year. It's The Waiting Game.

Every year during The Waiting Game I water and maintain as normal. Which is pure faith because there's nothing to see yet. No seeds have budded out. For all I know, I'm wasting my time watering dirt. Paranoid thoughts slip in: what if instead of planting those okra seeds 1/2" down I accidentally pushed them a whole inch down? Is it doomed forever?!? Will they not grow now?



This feels like the current period of my life, which has been defined in one word: wait. I am confident that the izzy group, Agent Wife, and I have planted, watered and nurtured seeds in the fair mother city for 7 years (even longer for the izzy group as a whole). When do we get to see the fruit and work the harvest?



...and PS: here's what's been planted this year:

[Store-bought plants] - we never got good results from these as seeds:
-6 Tomatoes (Big Boy)
-6 Bell pepper (green)

[Seeds]:
-Sunflowers (for shade and decoration)
-Okra (compliments of Obi-Wan)
-Carrots*
-Spinach*
-Radishes
-Yellow squash
-Cucumber
-Butternut squash*

* denotes new for us. Our first year to try these crops.

Diary of a single mom

A few weeks ago we received one of the many random surprise visits from April Hawk and her 19 year old daughter Fresca. They use to come get groceries several years ago at the izzy food pantry that Agent Wife and I worked at.

April has a 18 year old son, Saul, who has been in a lot of trouble on and off throughout his life. Her daughter Fresca has a 2 year old boy and is now pregnant again.

At first glance, the Hawks don't look like the typical working poor/poverty family in the fair mother city. They look like average people in average clothes and work average jobs. Nothing special or out of the ordinary.

But after knowing them, we see a little deeper into their life. April is always employed, but rarely stays at the same low paying job for more than 6-8 months. She always develops an issue with a boss or coworker. Or she gets injured on the job or develops some sickness that keeps her from work for extended periods.

The Hawks always have a roof over their head, but rarely have the same residence for more than 6-8 months. They get behind on bills. And the best way to avoid bill collectors and evictions is to up and move in the dark of night and start over somewhere else. April even bought a house once, located two streets over from where I live now. But they lost it due to several bad decisions.

The one constant in their life is change. They live and revolve around change. And change is almost always thrust upon them because of (as I see it) living outside the ordained order of things by the CEO. I don't believe the CEO punishes people who live by their own rules. But rather...when you live by your own rules, you therefore live with the consequences of those actions. Or possibly...living by your own rules is equivalent to living outside the CEO's protection. I don't know.

In comparison, we don't have any more money than April and her family have. We are in the same social and financial vain. But their life is constant disaster and ours isn't. This is not a self righteous plea. My family and I make mistakes and we sin. But thankfully the CEO gives us grace and we repent and move on. The Hawks keep repeating the same actions over and over.

We love the Hawks and wish we were in closer contact. But their phone number and address changes all the time. So the only way we hear from them is when they drop by and say hi.

I pray for the opportunity to share some truths with her. I don't feel right in my heart about just blurting out the facts of the CEO at any ole moment in time. I have to detect if she's ready to receive. And for the last 6-7 years, she hasn't been.

CEO: please bring April Hawk into our lives again with an open heart and the right timing. Thank you.

...before the fall

Some of my friends in the Agent Network and blogging community have given kind words for me and my family because the life we live (or assignment given to us by the CEO). That's very kind of you all. Thanks.

But know that for every praiseworthy post there's at least one or 2 crappy moments and feelings in my heart that never get filed on the agent b files.

I stumbled across a journal entry from March 2005 (6 months before this blog started):

Monday March 14, 2005 (2:47p) - Last week was one of the toughest in our life...as all of our fleshly desires and attitudes were exposed. Spring Break 2005: every needy person in our neighborhood showed up at our door at least once last week. Kids ringing the doorbell every 30 minutes. Terry and all of his CPS problems, etc. Then Terry brings Sherry Jaden [a well known homeless woman in the fair mother city] to the neighborhood [and more or less dumps her off on us]. It was as if every time someone came to the door OR I walked out to the car, someone would run up to us in desperation yelling, "Take care of me...I'm NEEDY!"

We had multiple opportunities to be real and truly live this [undercover agent] mentality. We blatantly rejected our first opportunities [and turned those away] but later realized the wickedness of our hearts...

Man...I had forgot about that. That week sucked. I was a jackass. We blatantly turned away those we were here for. I'm a big believer in "pulling away" from the crowds to be alone with the CEO. But that week was just fleshly selfishness.

And thankfully the CEO gave us a second chance to hang with all those folks.

Garden files #001

It's official. As of 8:20pm CST my garden is planted. May the spiritual parables (and the garden wars with The Tiger) begin.

I've been at it since 9am. Of course, since Agent Wife and I started this gardening bit, we've done it the fancy white guy/internet info way. Meaning...lots of extra work up front that will prevent work later on.

1)We've always laid out cardboard or newspaper (collected at various recycling collections) on top of the soil.
2)Then I put wood chipped mulch (free from the city recycling plant) on top of the cardboard.
3) Using a box cutter, I cut into the cardboard to make the rows for seeds and plants.
4) Plant seeds/plants
5) *New feature as of last year* - place about 150 feet of soaker hose (given to me by The Tiger...don't know why he didn't like them) over every square inch of growing space so all I have to do is hook up the hose nightly and water for 15-30 min, depending on the heat level that day.

I'm beat. It's a lot of work. But the cardboard prevents weeding all year. The mulch a) keeps the cardboard in place, b) hold moisture-a-plenty and, c) looks pretty.

Various faith parables came to mind while I was sweating. As I planted everyone of those seeds, it was hard not to wonder if anything will ever become of them. Sometimes we pour our lives into people, like the dozens if not hundreds from the old izzy ministry days. I wonder whatever became of those folks. Some I know. Most have disappeared.

...and of course...the whole "reap a harvest" someday thoughts were obvious. Looking forward to everyday between now and the first freeze this fall.




BEFORE: a plot of dirt...carefully composted and tilled for months before the planting stage. (In background: Agent Dog on patrol for squirrels)







AFTER: ready for growing (this photo taken just before the soaker hoses were placed for the season.

what if...

...churches quit building bigger facilities with bank loans and instead went into debt to feed people?

...people gave their best to the poor instead of their leftovers or second best?

...church pastors and head ministers no longer had their name and face on signs, billboards, brochures, newspaper stories, TV, etc?

Just thinking...

A Tiger-ette: Property "rights"

I spent quality time with The Tiger today. It's been a while. Ever since he made that early cross from boyhood to man last fall, our paths don't cross too frequently.

Nothing significant happened that I know of. We went out in his family's van, the brown-n-tan (an old trustworthy friend) to the city recycling center to pick up a load of mulch for our gardens.

I begin planting Wednesday, or maybe Tuesday night. This is the 4th year and every year The Tiger and I have what I jokingly refer to as "the garden wars". I'll never forget the Garden Wars Episode I (2003): The Phantom Jackass. It was the first time ever for Agent Wife and I to garden so we didn't know what the hell we were doing. Our garden was obviously such a "white guy/this is how the internet says to plant a garden" type of fare. We had the most pitiful miniscule crop that I somehow killed off by the 4th of July. Meanwhile The Tiger, at age 13, haphazardly tossed some seeds over his shoulder on some mangy dirt. And...maybe it might rain on them (while I was watering the crap out of mine). And in like 6 weeks The Tiger has this lush, 10 foot tall garden of eden. There was probably a naked woman in there too. My garden had nothing lush and naked.

Well, by last year I was experienced and The Tiger's teenage induced laziness caught up with him. So last year I kicked his garden's butt all over the town. All that to say...I think he's serious this year. He wants revenge.

But in the end, it's all good fun. We always share produce with each other.

One very godly observation: I screwed up the back door of their van on accident. I was showing The Tiger how every year I back up into the 2 story mountain of mulch by opening the back door, slamming it into reverse, then flooring it into the mulch with a big slam halt. He loves stuff like that.

Well, like a gigantic idiot, I hit the angle of the mulch mountain wrong and bend the back door way the hell back, thus screwing it up. It not only left a big dent, but it wouldn't close properly. We got it to work somehow.

Here's the cool observation of middle class versus poverty culture: we get home and I offer to buy a different back door if we could find one at a junkyard (it's an old van). All I had was $10 in my pocket and I gave it to The Tiger to give to his step dad Manuel. Whatever the door cost, I'd pay the rest when they went to buy it.

Later tonight I see Manuel who was laughing at our van mishap. He refused the offer and gave me back the $10. He said it was no big deal. "A work truck" he said in broken English, laughing.

And if that had been owned by a middle class family you know they be wanting my insurance info, home number, head on a platter, etc.

Thank you CEO.

Healing (timing)

Tonight the izzy group met at our house for study of The Book. After some brief recap of the preceding weeks lessons, the Concrete Man (one of izzy's board advisors and founders) asked Agent Wife and I if we knew an African refugee named Victor Franco. Do we ever. Agent Wife interprets for him and his family often.

Turns out, Victor is one of the employees on a construction job under the Concrete Man's supervision. Victor has had problems with his knees and recently received a doctors written orders to avoid heavy lifting and bending over, etc...all things that a worker must do on a construction site.

There is currently no light duties available from the company. Plus the company has to have Victor sit out as they could become liable for any injuries he has with a doctor's notice. And Victor desperately needs to work for income. The Concrete man felt as though he should pray for Victor's healing but had no time or place on the job.

So as he's telling this story to us, we call Victor and have him come over to be healed. We pray and watch a miracle healing in his knees right in our house. Then both Victor and the Concrete Man explain how this is all the CEO's timing as they were originally supposed to be at other places this evening. Victor (who was a pastor back home in Africa) was suppose to preach for a group of French speaking Africans in Dallas tonight.

Instead, after his miracle healing Victor, through Agent Wife's interpretation, spoke his prepared message to us impromptu. The message was on timing. There could not have been a better subject for us (the izzy group and my family individually) who has waited over 3 years for the CEO to use us in some sort of capacity again.

The text, taken from Jeremiah 15:18-19, is basically about people (like me & izzy) who whine when things aren't happening the way we think it should. And yet the CEO has not abandoned us, but things will happen in the perfect timing.

Like Victor's healing. Like receiving this message. Thank you CEO.

Gather 'round

We had our first extended agent network gathering featuring all of those listed in the side bar from the fair mother city (with the exception of the organic wife...sorry, this meeting somehow evolved into a guy thing).

Agent S (The Librarian), Agent Jr. (the Boston bound student/intern), Jack of the all-trades, and my first time meeting with the organic guy live and in the flesh, went rather well.

There was really no agenda other than eating my special made onion burgers and sitting around pretending to know each other. However, above excellent discussion about the inner workings of subversive ministry in and beyond the fair mother city had evolved.

It was a great 2 hours or so for guys to get together in real life outside of the blogosuniverse. I had a good time and somehow or another friendships are starting to be formed.

Little things

I love reading about the old testament prophets in The Book. Not just their writings (like Isaiah, Amos, Micah, Jeremiah, etc), but I especially get a kick out of reading about them. Like Elijah & Elisha in I & II Kings. Just the way they lived, things they did, etc...I love it.

I've been into II Kings lately with Elisha. Most people overlook him for Elijah which is funny since Elisha had the double anointing. So I guess he was a double bad-ass.

I kept running into funny little stories that made me wonder why they were included in the overall text, other than the fact that these were stories of Elisha and there was some miraculous quality about them.

My favorite was "An Axhead Floats" (II Kings 6:1-7). Some prophetic buddy of Elisha was chopping down trees near the Jordan River when his axhead fell in the water. "Oh crap" he said. "It was borrowed".

It was borrowed? Oh goodness...we have an emergency. Call the feds. So somehow Elisha throws a stick into the water which somehow makes the axhead float.

Now I'm thinkin'...what were the consequences of losing a borrowed axhead? You gotta buy the owner a new one? Maybe some weird jewish law that made the owner throw something of yours into the water, ala "eye for an eye"?

At best, I can guess that this borrowed tool being lost would create a minor inconvenience for the guy who lost it. An INCONVENIENCE. And yet the CEO cares about the little things in our life enough to do something miraculous about them if we ask him, I suppose.

Like making an axhead float.

I don't know...maybe there's more deep theological meanings behind this story...

Prodigal son

A neighbor came by today during lunch to see if I could get her mower to start. While out on the sidewalk yanking away with the start rope I take notice of a taxi pulling up in Obi-Wan's driveway. Some guy got out with a hanging bag and knocked on his front door while the cab left. My seasoned Agent instincts told me this was his long lost son from Houston.

After returning some yard equipment to Obi-Wan I indeed discovered that the mystery guest was his wayward son Lamont.

Wow. Totally unexpected. Lamont just hopped aboard the Greyhound bus and boom, here he is with no warning. I think he's staying a few days, even though he hates the fair mother city. He's not the first to despise my town.

Obi-Wan hadn't seen Lamont in years and didn't think he'd ever get to see him again. They aren't real close. The family and I got to meet him and visit tonight. Pleasant guy. He's pretty different from Obi-Wan, which I had gathered from many conversations about him. I'm glad to have met him.

Testimony #008

Two part.

Part I: Gig at the Jedi Counsel Room last Friday came with considerable pay. Considerable for a weird-ass instrumental solo act in the musical desert known as the fair mother city. And considerable since I offered to play for tips only, just to get my foot back in the door. And good thing since tips that night totaled a whopping $2 and some coins. It was cheap-ass night at the jedi counsel room. Oh yeah, they also gave me a pack of Nat Shermans and a drink from their coffee bar. The establishment took care of me. I might not be so anti-establishment after all...

Part II: We received unexpected financial blessing from an unexpected source. Thank you CEO.

Mole hill

Well, the mountain top journey was more like a 15 minute visit to a mole hill. And that's not a bad thing, I'm convinced. Once I arrived on the hill it just didn't seem like I was meant to be there for long a time. Thus...not pull out from all things around me for long.

Although someday I look forward to someone lending me a set of keys to some isolated mountain-side cabin next to a pond...and having at least a weekend to myself...with a couple of books...10 caliber...voice of the CEO...and a case of Fat Tire. Someday. Get away from it all.

Otherwise...I have a few reports to file here in the next few days regarding things I was shown or observed on the mole hill.

*************************************************

After being best friends with Obi-Wan for almost 3 years, I still learn of new cultural barriers occasionally. Like this one:

The Librarian (aka Agent S) had a school paper to write based on an interview he makes with a person over 65. He asked if Obi-Wan would assist in such an endeavor. Obi-Wan accepted, but with a mild reluctance. So a week later on the night before the scheduled interview, I remind him about it and prep him with the questions emailed by Agent S. I began to witness a side of Obi-Wan I didn't know existed. He acted offended at the questions, calling them "stupid", etc. So I say, "How is 'What event from your youth influenced you to what you are today?' a stupid question?" He said something like, "How am I supposed to know what I was thinkin' about when I was a kid? Stupid!"

I think deep down his brief offense had something to do with feeling ashamed for being undereducated, and thus, not knowing why anyone would ask the question in the first place, or not knowing why its answer would be important to anyone.

In the end, all went extremely well. Obi-Wan saw the greater need to help out Agent S and give his interview rather than getting upset about something beyond his understanding. It was cool.

*************************************************

After tracking him down, I spent some quality time with Uncle Kurt today. We ate at the best mom-n-pop burger joint located within the boundaries of the fair mother city.

Kurt is at a new crossroads: he's either about to rent an apartment or possibly move to Colorado temporarily. Kurt has bad cataracts and has been trying to find ways (ie: the government) to pay for doctor visits to improve his vision. He finally received some kind of medicaid benefits, but after a visit to an eye doctor found out that this medicaid won't go into effect until July. I don't understand because he's already paying about $200 a month out of his $600 a month SS benefit for some kind of health insurance (don't get me started). He says that he can get health benefits easy in Colorado. So basically...if he doesn't get this certain apartment real soon Kurt's headed for the Rockies real soon. But he plans to return. I hope he doesn't have to go.

*************************************************

Did I mention I'm excited about the upcoming gardening season? Historically, our garden has gotten better each year. Today we bought the '10 packs for a buck' seeds from the Dollar Store down the street.

And somehow like the gardening thing, my life is experiencing a stage of great anticipation. I don't know what's up. Financially, we're still living real low. But we seem to be gaining momentum as compared to recent months. And I have no proof, but I just trust something's about to happen...

Sign-off notes

Solo gig at the Jedi Counsel Room last night went OK. Jack from the local agent network was there. It's a rough start back in these waters for me, but I'll get over it. I'm still not overly excited about making music much anymore. But I'm forcing myself out of hiding in attempts to heal some wounds that I didn't know I had (plus make a few bucks). I was text chatting with the construction worker (another network agent) the other night and this subject of my music absence came about. He said something about the whole body/soul thing in that...you can't mess with one aspect of our humanity without jacking with the other. I never had thought of that. Yes, like when someone close to you dies...you probably don't feel like eating for a few days. Except this isn't about eating. It's about not playing music. For over 3 years. Go figure...

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I'm getting pretty excited...it's gardening time. Woo-hoo. Who would have ever thought that this kid from the boring-ass big city suburbs would get excited about plants in the dirt. This will be Agent Wife's and my 4th year to grow produce. And man...let me tell you...as cliche as this sounds, there are SO many clear communications from the CEO and his ways as told through gardening. I hope to keep a running report of them here on the agent b files after we plant in the next week or so.

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Attempted re-contact with the woman who owns the facility I'm interested in for The Table will take place early this week. She should be back from Mexico by now...

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I'm going to attempt to climb that mountain where the CEO is rumored to be, so I'll be offline for a few days.