Thursday, April 13, 2006

...before the fall

Some of my friends in the Agent Network and blogging community have given kind words for me and my family because the life we live (or assignment given to us by the CEO). That's very kind of you all. Thanks.

But know that for every praiseworthy post there's at least one or 2 crappy moments and feelings in my heart that never get filed on the agent b files.

I stumbled across a journal entry from March 2005 (6 months before this blog started):

Monday March 14, 2005 (2:47p) - Last week was one of the toughest in our all of our fleshly desires and attitudes were exposed. Spring Break 2005: every needy person in our neighborhood showed up at our door at least once last week. Kids ringing the doorbell every 30 minutes. Terry and all of his CPS problems, etc. Then Terry brings Sherry Jaden [a well known homeless woman in the fair mother city] to the neighborhood [and more or less dumps her off on us]. It was as if every time someone came to the door OR I walked out to the car, someone would run up to us in desperation yelling, "Take care of me...I'm NEEDY!"

We had multiple opportunities to be real and truly live this [undercover agent] mentality. We blatantly rejected our first opportunities [and turned those away] but later realized the wickedness of our hearts...

Man...I had forgot about that. That week sucked. I was a jackass. We blatantly turned away those we were here for. I'm a big believer in "pulling away" from the crowds to be alone with the CEO. But that week was just fleshly selfishness.

And thankfully the CEO gave us a second chance to hang with all those folks.

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