Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Endurance training

In preparation for an upcoming music gig (the dormant identity is resurfacing for good, I suppose), I came across an analogy for the life I've been in for the last 3 years.

In my practice time this week, I've entered into endurance training period. Like a long distance runner, they do not practice running, per se. They practice going non-stop. Currently, I am not learning how to play my songs. Instead, I know the songs and now I'm preparing for a marathon 3 hour gig. I've done hundreds of these before. They're fun but practicing the endurance part (playing the hour & 45 minute set straight through) is a drag. In the middle of my set I find myself thinking, "I know how to play these songs. Can't I go on to something else?"

For the last 3 years the izzy group has been in hiding and thus, Agent Wife & I have been pushed into deep cover with only vague communications from headquarters (CEO). The only words I ever get from the CEO in regards to this period in my life is "wait".

WAIT? That's a sucky word of instruction. Just when I think resources get as thinned out as possible, we have to stretch them even further the next month. And the next month. When will this period end?

CEO, we already know how to hang with the poor in our city. Can't we get out of this "wait" period and on to something else??

I know this "wait" period has produced many relationships and good fruit in our neighborhood. But, man...am I just a whiner?

7 comments:

miller said...

brother,

i'm praying for ya!

i hope you know that you are a part of my "great cloud of witnesses".

hold fast!

Mike Exum said...

5. I wait for the LORD, my soul Waits!
And in his word I hope.
6. My soul waits for the LORD
More than the watchmen wait for the morning
More than the watchmen wait for the dawn.

Many blessings, B, many blessings...

Anonymous said...

BrainWater here,

guess i don't understand why waiting is considered "doing something."

Agent B said...

BW -

You are correct.I didn't communicate that very clearly...

For the last 3 years I've felt like I'm in 'spiritual bootcamp' for ministry and life with the poor. I "ministered to" them for 3.5 years from the "other side of the counter".

Now...I'm with them on their side of the counter.

And just when we've learned to live without...more gets taken away, or so it seems.

So fo me, waiting has been a test of physical strength endurance of sorts.

Make sense? (It still makes little sense to me).

Agent B said...

...ie: waiting is physical activity that can be extremely tiring...

Anonymous said...

BrainWater:

Considering that I am an "anonymous jackass" and all (ie: not man enough to step forward), I still think that "waiting" is the flip side of the coin to reckless ambition. Not implying that it is laziness at all, just a refuge word for the intimidated.

Agent B said...

BW -

Normally in all aspects of life, I would agree with your reckless ambition claim. Boy...would I ever.

I'm not one to sit idle for long. I inherited my mother's work-a-holic nature (and I don't think that's healthy, btw).

But in this case, for me and my wife, we are betting our whole lives and existence that we truly heard the CEO of the Universe tell us to wait. And we are trying to be obedient with that.

We have heard the instruction wait more than once in the past 3 years. We know the promises on our life, both in ministry and livelyhood in general.

Thus far, the testimonies are there: we are not wards of the state. We do not live off our parents, friends, etc. We do not have a hidden bank acct or stock portfolio. Every need, both financial and physical, has been met by the CEO. And in times of doubt and whining (like I did in this post), all I have to go by are these testimonies too numerous to list.

The israelites wandered for 40 years in the wilderness before they saw the promises fulfilled. Right now, I'm thankful I've only been waiting 3.

Thanks for your input. I need the tough questions asked...even if you are anonymous ;)