Sunday, November 13, 2005

Perspective

For a while I've been wanting to give a little background info on the way Agent Wife & I live. I never wanted to give anyone the impression that we were destitute and living in some shack waiting for handouts to come our way.

We are not destitute. Far from it. At the risk of sounding like that health/wealth BS preached in most charismania clubs...I don't think the CEO would have us believers live in a miserable situation. Maybe I'm wrong. But then again I'm the guy that's always thought monks really missed the boat in life.

After four years of praying and living in a 450 square foot efficiency apartment located in the "real hood", we bought a 1300 square foot house. And we've been loving it ever since. Compared to most middle class America, it's not a massive dream home. But compared to the poverty class, it's a palace. It's a 50 year old house in a neighborhood that has a few run down homes and a few well kept ones.

Most everything we have now is something the CEO put before us in one way or another. Most of our furniture was given to us by my mother when she was re-married three years ago. We had two cars given to us within a 10 month time period. They are over 10 years old and have an average of 200,000 mi each. But they're very reliable...for now. We have TWO new computers - both were GIVEN to us this year. I mostly use a windows-based laptop while Agent Wife uses the eMac my dad gave us (I refuse to join the mac cult).

The kid next door, The Tiger, use to spend a lot of time over at our house. He was baffled with our way of life. He thought we were freaks. He couldn't understand why two of us lived in a big house all to ourselves (this was before Agent Offspring). The Tiger lives in a 900 square foot house with his two siblings, mom, her boyfriend, and a hell of a lot of chihuahuas - which I love to terrorize. The Tiger sleeps in the living room on a couch.

For months he wrote off every aspect of our lifestyle as "rich". He'd see something we'd have and say, "That's rich" or "Rich people stuff". We're talking about me here. "Rich". And dammit, I can't even justify buying beer for the last year or more. The only time I drink now is when I'm invited to someone else's party. And it's usually cheap beer. I've forgotten what good beer tastes like.

Anyway, I ask The Tiger, "What makes us so rich". Our conversation went as follows:

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The Tiger: "You have a computer"

Me: "OK - that was given to us. And besides, your mom has a computer. So now what makes us rich?"

The Tiger: "Uhh...you have a nice car"

Me: "That was given to us too. And it's about the same year as your mom's van. Next."

The Tiger: "Your house looks nice."

Me: "Well, we maintain it as best we can. I mow the grass every couple of weeks. You have like 2 or 3 lawn mowers. You can do the same. Next."

[here comes my favorite]

The Tiger: "Uhh...you have a...dog"

Me: "Yes Tiger. We have a dog. And YOU have FIVE dogs. And the dog we have was GIVEN to us...BY YOU"

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The Tiger still thinks we're freaks.

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