Covert ministerial contraband distribution 2003-05 (Pt. I)

In attempt to explain some of my wacky lingo as well as my acquired knowledge of the inner workings of ministries to the poor in the fair mother city, it is necessary to report on one of my more covert missions of the recent past. This is in no way an attempt to glorify me or the izzy group. Just info to fill in the gaps for past and future posts.

First off...the izzy group was removed (in a rather ill fashion) from its host church and birth mother of 16 years. When we left the building, we had virtually nothing but an apartment we rented on the north side of town that a homeless guy lived in as well as a community that developed around that area. That lasted about 5 months and ended when the homeless guy hit the streets with a married woman or something like that. So it goes.

So then we really had nothing. Less than a month later, izzy somehow gets hooked up with a ministerial alliance based in Dallas that wants to send us food every month. An 18 wheeler truck full of food. Every month. I mean...you need like warehouses and forklifts and things I've never dealt with in order to receive this shipment. So we run out and borrowed some warehouse space, lined up a forklift & operator, rented a pallet jack, etc.

We open the doors of this truck and boom...there it is. Real quality, name brand, healthy, and FREE non-perishable food. Nothing like the crap we BOUGHT at the local food bank. This was like...stuff I'd buy for my family. And therefore, this was the kind of food I'd want to give to the poor because they deserve our best, not our garbage.

This first shipment came in about a week before we all went on July vacations. So I stored it and during the 4 weeks off I brainstormed about "what" to do with this food. We had no pantry to give it away from. I could not invite the poor to come get it since the food was stored at some guy's business. I thought maybe we could round up the troops and bag up groceries on a weeknight and go delivering to poor neighborhoods on Saturdays. We almost had a meeting based on these plans but it was abruptly ended as soon as it began due to some *bizarre freakazoid incident* tied to izzy's political past (maybe more on that someday).

Then it hit me. When my inlaws were visiting, we went to a church of their flavor one Sunday where someone was making a plea for food donations to the church's pantry. "Well", I thought, "I've got me a warehouse full of food. Maybe I'll load up the Brown-n-Tan (or BnT, the official secret agent van of the izzy group at the time) and anonymously drop off a few van loads to them."

So I did. And these folks were appreciative since it *was* free, excellent food. I made a few undercover inquiries about their food situation...if they were short this month or if this was a regular occurrence. I learned that the local food bank (the main supplier of cheap food to ministries in the fair mother city) had dried up most of the summer AND their prices had risen (gotta keep than non profit ship afloat).

I begin to see what the CEO's "bigger" plan was: we were to supply all of the other ministries in town. They already have food pantries in operation. We'll just give to them.

(to be cont'd)