Monday, November 28, 2005

Institutional rant (pt. II)

Obi-Wan invited me for breakfast Sunday morning. You haven't lived until you've eaten an Obi-Wan breakfast. And if you've eaten one, you won't live for long.

Reheated rice and toast. Then eggs, ham and bacon are fried in a dirty skillet with brown, recycled cooking oil. I felt my heart stop for a couple of seconds. But it was worth it. I figure...Obi-Wan is 88 and he's eaten like this most every day of his life. He must be doing something right.

We had the TV on. It featured a couple of local sunday club preacher's rants.

I can't keep quiet any longer. The diplomatic Agent B is no more...

How can guys in priestly garb or nice suits talk about patience and suffering when their club pays them like $70k/year (and in some cases, well over 6 figures). Yeah, I could suffer with six figure jack in the bank. Ooow, the pain. Truthfully, I couldn't do what it takes to get that pay though...tickle the ears of the club members 1-3 hours a week, keep up with the status quo, etc.

And talking about the "pilgrimage" that this "community" is taking during their club house's high dollar (hundreds of thousands??) renovation. Good golly miss molly, how much justice could be served locally with that kind of jack being spent within a missional capacity rather than a status quo weekly meeting?

I'm not a man with any answers on this post. I just don't get it anymore.

Why do so many of these sunday clubs have access to serious finances (sometimes well into the millions) and the most they can do is build better meeting houses to be used 1-3 times a week? My Tourettes is acting up again.

Lord - I don't want to get into the judging game. Just thinking out loud...on a blog...while I try to feed my family with your provision and manna.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm Deana's other half (she's the better half). I lurk here instead of commenting.

I agree with what you're saying. I don't know if the inside will ever change. I guess that's why there are secret agents on the outside.

Agent B said...

Thanks for lurking, Steve.

I gave up on the idealistic crusade of trying to "change" the institutional church back when I was "on staff" at one from 2000-2002.

I know my wife & I are not the only ones in the universe who follow Jesus but grew distant from the club cult.

I'm curious how/why/etc you, Deana and others arrived at where you are today? And how has the CEO operated in your life since, how your extended family relates to you, etc.

Anonymous said...

Agent B...

I am interested in your thoughts on being a secret agent within the institution. Since I am a deacon at the aforementioned club on this post, yet a Secret Agent with a psuedo position within a social ministry in the club how might I best inflitrate the club for good and not harm? Heretofore I have made it a mission to inform club members on the CLCM goings on and encouraged interaction with the club and the poor in the Mother City. I am torn between a club that I owe much of my heritage to and a life that I perceive to be stunted by the club culture. Need help from other Agents. How should I proceed.

Agent B said...

Sloth:

I don't even know where to begin on your question.

I assume you are asking me for my opinion and not "Dear Abby, tell me what to do". Because no one should tell you what to do except maybe the CEO.

I have been part of a club, employed by a club, but never a secret agent within a club. So I have no real experience with your question. But I know exactly what you're going through.

My rapid-fire answers (with little thought) are as follows:

You're NOT going to influence a club. Period. Unless you are the head pastor and are willing to be highly unpopular. Pastor Hawking and his ordeals are the perfect example of this. He had a church of 200+. He became pastor and basically said, "screw this...we're going after the rejects of society". He's had a small church and been the laughing stock of the religious ever since.

Do you want to play politics, or do you want to clear the temple with a whip? Not much middle ground to choose from. One is status quo/comfort zone. The other gets you killed eventually. It got me kicked out of the church, and now I'm wondering if I'll have money for bills in Dec, much less gifts for family. The CEO always pulls through somehow...

This would be better discussed in person.

I stand with you, my friend, wherever the CEO leads you...

Anonymous said...

Agent B,

Wow...where to begin. It probably started when I was young with experiences in churches you may know the names of (since we grew up in the same metro area).

Then there was the call to fulltime ministry I reluctantly agreed to with the desire and goal of changing the institution, in addition to affecting the world. Then there was the unexpected divorce from my wife at the time and the way the institution pushed me out, called me bad, and cut off any communication from me. Eight years in full-time ministry.

It's been seven years. I've visited a few institutions since but I've never been a regular again. Seminary degree. Heart for God. Desire to reach the world. Instead I work with computers in corporate America.

The CEO? He's taken us through impossible circumstances. He has never left us. He has blesssed beyond measure.

We still long to make a difference in the world. Once you've tasted the fulfillment of living His purposes out, you can never live the same again.

Agent B, we're not alone. And the 'cult club' doesn't even realize what's happening. Without even knowing it, they're losing ground year after year. It's hurts my heart because I still want God's plans accomplished.

I guess that's why we're finding each other all over the country to make something else happen.

Agent B said...

Wow Steve...I'm facinated and honored. Thanks for sharing.

Why don't you write about these observations on your blog? I'd read it. I'd love to hear more.

I'm sure the CEO has you, Deana & Max in CO for one reason or another. Keep in touch.

Anonymous said...

Agent B...

He does write about it...on the rigth hand part of his page...check out the Tribe series. I think you'd really really get into it. We don't know if it is a dream or a coming reality. It's hard to know anything the way life is so unpredicatble.

Agent B said...

Thanks Deana. I'll check it out.