Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Daze of Our Lives (revisited)


Since Obi-Wan’s release from the hospital last week, he been in the worse shape I’ve ever seen him in.

His legs are weak. And his feet are in terrible pain due to a mix of his diabetic status and age.

Add it all up and Obi-Wan cannot walk anymore. Not even with a walker or cane.

He cannot go into his kitchen and make his own meals anymore. Everything he needs must be br
ought to him in the living room (meals, porta-potty, etc).

To my surprise Nurse Gollum retired over the Christmas break. And she hasn’t been around much since. And now there’s a new nurse, Nurse Esther. She’s trying to figure me out. I’m trying to figure me out too.

Meanwhile, every person in Obi-Wan’s sphere of friends and family is trying to get him into a nursing home. And sometimes I wonder if they’re right.

He doesn’t want to go into a care home. And I wouldn’t want to be in one myself, so I’m not making any suggestions. But I am posing questions to him that will hopefully lead him to the decision that only he should make.

But Obi-Wan needs almost every little thing done for him now. And it’s physically impossible for me to be there 24/7. Thankfully, he has a new home care worker in the mornings and she helps a lot.

I can only imagine what it’s like. Having a sharp, strong mind but a body that’s failing.

He’s so desperate to go be with the CEO.

My selfish side would like to have him around some more. Like the good ole days when we’d eat fried fish and play dominoes at the dinner table.

But my communications to the CEO have been different lately.

Peace.

An end to his suffering.

I’ve never prayed for a friend to pass on.

4 comments:

Mark said...

that's a tough prayer to pray brother. and i am grateful that Obi Wan has a secret agent working for him. Probably makes him feel pretty cool. its neat to hear how you are asking questions, but encouraging him to be the one to make the decisions regarding moving into a elderly home. non-manipulative relationships are probably very important to him now. press on B!

Miller said...

what mark said!

you may be the only one in his life right now who is willing to be unselfish now.

press on bro...

we're prayin'

peace

Deana said...

i'm sorry, i know it's so hard to watch.

is there any kind of full time nursing in his home he could get?

Agent B said...

is there any kind of full time nursing in his home he could get?

Yes. Sorta. So says Nurse Louise (Gollum's oldest daughter). But they haven't done anything about it...yet.

The real lesson here for me is: the elderly's needs come up real quick.

And people like Obi-Wan who control their own life up to the end probably need someone else to make decisions.

But he's not giving that power over.

But about 5 people (Louise, Nurse Esther, and some over zealous nieces 3 hours away) are trying to get that power.

And I'm in the middle and they're all real suspicious of me. So i try to be his friend yet not assume any power (unless he hands it over). I don't think a non-family member (like me) should force him into anything.

It's a huge soap opera...