Thursday, November 30, 2006

rite of passage

A few weeks ago our neighbor Jessie Sanford, the 20 year-old daughter of Frieda, moved out of her mother’s house and got her own residence.

Jessie tried this once before recently with a former boyfriend and his family. It lasted about a week or so.

This time she not only got a new boyfriend, but she rented her own place as opposed to moving in with an established family. Jessie and her new boyfriend Juan will be sharing a small duplex with her 17 year-old homeless friend Elizabeth and Elizabeth’s boyfriend.

The four of them plan to live off Jessie’s $600 a month disability check plus whatever other income comes along.

Leaving the nest seems to be as taboo as family finances, or possibly sex. Sex is far less taboo than money, in my observation. Empty nest is as awkward for the poverty class as it is for the middle class. Leaving the nest involves change, and few people enjoy change.

I always wondered how the poverty class dealt with the empty nest since middle class kids usually have college enrollment as a way out.

I guess the poor’s empty nest dealings often involve some sort of temporary love relationship.

Middle class Christians would first shun Jessie for her decision to move in with a boyfriend. Then second, they would gasp at her flakey financial plan.

I’m not a fan of half-assed commitments. But thankfully that’s between Jessie, her boyfriend, and the CEO.

And I’m not excited for her financial support either.

But I’m proud that Jessie took her own initiative to move away from home, regardless of her method. Waiting for everything to be "perfect" before moving from mom and dad's is a goal that may never be met. Sink or swim cannot be all that bad.

My parents divorced when I moved off to college. I’ve more or less been on my own since age 18. It wasn’t easy and I made big financial mistakes. But I learned from those mistakes, which have helped make me into what I am now.

CEO – I request that you protect Jessie from any physical dangers of her new living situation and that you would strengthen her through any potential mistakes.


Miller said...

amen bro


ericaprosser said...

Some middle class kids, who grew up in church, wanted to go to college, but their parents say, "You are 18, we're done. If you have any sense at all you will join the military."
So the kids leave home filled with pride and disappointment. They find their own place, do WHATEVER it takes to pay the bills and end up in debt up to their necks, as well as a disappointment to parents, CEO, and every boyfriend they have because they now expect everyone who says I LOVE YOU to eventually say, OKAY WE'RE DONE.
BUT- in some cases those kids meet Jesus in the ghetto in Mexico, get to know Him in spite of what church and parents say and get a do-over on their own kids.

Agent B said...

so, your point is that some middle class kids don't necessarily get an easy ride into adulthood...?