Monday, August 06, 2007

observe: exhibit "B"

An old college friend of mine, The Godfather, stopped into town recently one Sunday. It was good to see him.

After dinner he suggested that the two of us go out for a beer, like a good micro-brew. So I said, “Godfather, there is no micro-brew. This is Abilene, remember?”

So then he suggested getting a coffee. I took him downtown where maybe the Jedi Council Room or Mom-n-Pop coffee across the street would be available. Nope. Both were closed. “Oh yeah”, I said. “It’s Sunday night. This is Abilene. Remember?”.

So we decided to wander around the vacant downtown on Sunday night. Which was fine as our agenda was to just be two guys who haven’t seen each other in a couple of years and talk.

After seeing various old haunts from our college years in the early ‘90s (Espresso Europa anyone?), seeing Momo’s name proudly spray-painted half a dozen times in bright gold and pink under a bridge, and crossing both sides of the tracks, we found ourselves in the parking lot of a nightclub.

The nightclub was closed. It was Sunday night. This is Abilene (remember?).

I’ve never been in this club. But that’s not saying much as I’ve never been too attracted to the shallow night-club atmosphere. I’ve gone to see a few bands play here and there, but I’ve not been at this joint.

This place has had a dozen different names in my 18 years in the fair mother city. I’ve always said – the night club business in the fair mother city has got to be the worst business venture in the universe. Up and running one week – gone the next. I’m thinking, unless the right person is running it, there’s no way a sparsely populated religious city can keep a locally run club in business. But what do I know.

Suddenly, after realizing where we were, as well as knowing how the fair mother city reacts to such places, I started looking around. And bingo, I found one. Then another. And another.

And before I knew it, The Godfather and I were picking up a dozen or so “evang-e-droppings”. AKA tracts. AKA drive-by evangelism tools.

Oh dear reader*, must I present any more evidence to prove the shallow, barrier-building practices of churches in the fair mother city??

I’m thinking about starting up a new “ministry”: cleaning local night-club parking lots every Sunday of evang-e-droppings and other trash. It would keep our city a little cleaner and possibly tell local club owners in a subtle, quiet way that “we’re sorry, for they know not what they do. Let us make things right by cleaning your parking lot without fanfare.”

I’m serious. If any one is interested, maybe we should get our heads together and gather on Sundays to do this.

*Yet another nod to dear Uncle George.


Amanda said...

Just this past Sunday the Pastor at the church I attend talked about something similar to this. He said that the church is wrong in it's thinking that we have to bring these people to church for them to be saved. We have the Kingdom of God living in us and we should bring it to them. I think cleaning up the parking lot is one way of bringing the Kingdom to people. It even sounds kind of fun. If you do decide to do something like this let me know for sure!

Beth said...

LOL @ "evang-e-droppings." Can't believe people really do that, but apparently they do, huh? Wow.

miller said...

yeah, these guys are notorious in Abilene. they haunt the bar parking lots waiting for unsuspecting partiers to stumble into their trap.

this to me is worse than drive by evangelism (if thats possible)...

this kind of in your face stuff is worse than counter productive, it generates aggressive opposition to the good news.

i wonder how it would be to hang out and apologetically take tracts off people's hands immediately after they'd been handed them.


i hate crap like this!

Deana Watson said...

What a very practical idea B!

Tangerinetinselbreeze said...

That is so good and funny, but not. I am always pleasantly suprised by your wit and practical truth. Let us know when you plan your evang-e dropolonic. We all benefit from a good cleanse.

Agent B said...

The parking lot clean up - I probably will do this. I need to investigate exactly where all the clubs are (as they change every week or so). If anyone's up on that info let me know:

An announcement will be made here if this gig happens. And please...keep this on the low-down. I don't want a huge freaking parade of gawkers showing up. I'll quit it as fast as it starts if that happens.

Agent B said...

Miller -

Ambush is more like what they do. I mean, they're freaking waiting for the clubbers at the door.

miller said...

yeah, i like ambush... it fits what they are doing.

the only clubs these guys frequent are the ones with public access imediately outside the door. if the club is situated behind a big parking lot the owners can deny them access. so they need a place like the stairs that has a public sidewalk right outside.


Jenelle said...

I really like your idea, Agent B. Cleaning up the tracts and taking care of the earth. I hope your evang-e-droppings word ends up in Wikipedia or something thrilling like that.