Sunday, March 04, 2007

adventures of pruning boy #002

Subtitled: Do the chickens have large talons?

This job is getting funnier by the second. It’s just great comedy. These two guys I work with and myself would make excellent sitcom material.

Featuring me, Agent B (mid 30’s). The Son/boss (58-60). The Dad (88). And a revolving door of guest celebrities as our well-to-do customers. A typical scene:

Female Customer (in an exclusive neighborhood, wearing a silky casual jogging-type outfit and a lot of jewelry): “I think I want...THAT limb removed.” (points up over 2 stories).

The Son: “Sounds good to me. B! Get in that tree with the chain saw!

Agent B: “Yes sir!” (climbs extension ladder with chain saw. Sits up on a limb. Performs death defying acts with deadly power tools at tree heights not common in the fair mother city.)

(Limb falls. The Dad slowly scuttles over to drag it to the trailer while murmuring some unintelligible old-man banter).

Female Customer: “Hmmm. Maybe I shouldn’t have picked that one. How about...THAT one.” (points to a lower limb).


Then, like every new job, there’s tons of little details to remember. No, I’m not talking about the obvious like safety with chain saws and ladders, etc. However, guarding my ass is MY first priority, regardless of whatever else I’m suppose to remember.

More like...don’t leave the ropes for the ladder dangling off the trailer because they will have to be moved a few inches when you tie up the ladder later on. Don’t leave the van door open, even if you’re taking out equipment in multiple trips because we might pick up a stray cat. Don’t leave the rake vertical against the trailer because we might not see it when packing up then run over it.

And on and on.

I really like my new employers. This is fun. I just wish a camera crew could follow us for a day. There’s great material here.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Of course the camera following you around would have to be censored to hide your secret agent identity. I think that complication would actually add to the humor.

This is funny. Thanx for sharing...

Agent X

Mark said...

Just watch out for the Grackles in the trees with the large talons...

Jason & Nicole said...

This is great material!