Saturday, March 10, 2007

Daze of Our Lives: episode #429

Obi-Wan is putting me in some difficult situations. I’m trying to weigh everything out in my head. And I’m seeking special instruction from the CEO himself.

It has become clear and evident that his son Lamont doesn’t care for my presence one bit. I’m OK with that. I can’t ever remember trying to be popular with anybody.

Long before Lamont showed up in the fair mother city, I have been the trusted friend and assistant to Obi-Wan. I do all the things Obi-Wan can’t do anymore: household chores and labor, errands, filling out his checks and paying his bills, etc.

When Lamont arrived (along with Obi-Wan’s niece Emma Mae’s brief stay) it has been somewhat unclear as to who should continue with these necessary duties. I was not instructed one way or the other. But that is partially blamed on Obi-Wan’s extended/current hospital stay and accompanying surgery.

Being that Lamont and Emma Mae are Obi-Wan’s blood related family, I assumed they would naturally pick up where I politely left off. Not necessarily so. During a visit last night, Obi-Wan made it clear that I am to continue checking his mail and paying his bills, etc (note: he pays the bills himself and signs the checks. I just fill the checks out and keep up with his system of doing things). Obi-Wan states that he hardly knows his son, doesn’t fully trust him and thinks Lamont isn’t smart enough to do this job.

Obi-Wan is very harsh on his son, and he knows of my disapproval of this harshness. Also, Obi-Wan has a history of pitting me against others. He enjoys bragging about me to all the people in his life who should have been doing the things that I do. That makes me really uncomfortable and I hate that he does this. But he thinks it’s necessary to do this, like it’s going to teach his son and others a “lesson” or something.

Because of all of this, Lamont doesn’t receive me well at all. He despises the fact that I have a key to Obi-Wan’s house and storage shed.

I try to put myself in Lamont’s shoes. What would it be like if my dad gave all this trust and friendship to someone other than me? Especially some young guy he’s only known four years?

And unfortunately, there is an underlying racial issue here as well. Obi-Wan’s friends and family are all African-American (ie: black) and I’m not. Like it or not, racism is alive and well and I deal with all its subtleties in relation to Obi-Wan’s friends & family. But I fear exploring that issue in a blog report at this time.

I counseled Obi-Wan to let Lamont take over as his “hand’s & feet”, but he won’t have of it.

If I had some disposable cash, I’d gladly take Lamont out to the jedi counsel room for a cigar and maybe we could talk freely, man to man. Right now, Lamont won’t even accept my offers for a ride to the hospital (he has no car and walks to the hospital daily to see his dad).

Maybe I shouldn’t bother trying to defend or explain myself to Lamont. I’m a big believer in what Mike (the construction worker) refers as bumper sticker mentality. If you have to explain yourself to the world (via stickers, t-shirts, or even your own consistent babble) than you’re really trying to convince yourself of who you are, not just the world around you.

I’m confident in who I am and my friendship with Obi-Wan. Maybe I should continue to let my life and actions speak for themselves. If my life is misinterpreted by others, so be it. What do I care.

But I hate having to sneak in and out of Obi-Wan’s house when Lamont is gone, just to take care of his bills, etc.

Any advice or input on this will greatly be considered...


Miller said...

is there any way to include lamont in the responsibilities you have been given? can you tell him that you don't necessarily like being between him and his dad any more than he does? is there a way to cooperate together to show obi-wan a better way?

sorry i only have questions...

mike said...

i think you are on to something when you mentioned taking out for a beer and a smoke. i think he is threatened by you and if you could form an aliance with him around Ole Ben's needs that may help.

or you could just have a fist fight and that would settle it.

Agent B said...


I'd like to think there was a better way. Obi-Wan has so little respect for his son and demands that I take care of bills, etc.

Lamont has always had poor communications with his dad. And now he has shut down all communication with me. He won't even acknowledge me if I'm in the same room.

And I'd like to think I was dreaming all this up. But I think it's real.

Mark said...

You did a great job in describing the awkwardness in the relationship right now. I wish I had some pearl of wisdom for you...

I'll keep thinking...and praying.

Agent B said...

Of course...this situation with Lamont changes daily, so...


The family & I were in the hospital room w/ Obi-Wan & Lamont yesterday (Sunday). Lamont is easier to be around when my wife and/or children are with me. He's very cold and silent when I'm alone.

We gave him a ride to Obi-Wan's house since it was raining. He received it well.

Plus, I delivered Obi-Wan's mail and filled out his bills in the hospital room and all seemed to go well.

I offered to take him to the jedi counsel room sometime, but he didn't seem interested.

Thanks for all and any future advice.