Testimony #017

I would be a total fool, or ungreatful swine, if I didn't report on the obvious good things in the life of this embedded agent family and instead exclusively dwelled on the bad.

The good things are too numerous for me to report. Or I'm too lazy to recall all of them. And negativity is always the easy way out. So, forgive me.

Example: my family has excellent health. We have not been sick ever since going undercover. Not that going undercover ensures good health. But it's an odd coincidence I don't take lightly, especially since we have no financial health coverage to speak of. And Agent Wife has had two excellent pregnancies during this time of our life.

Thank you CEO.

We have never had a bill that hasn't been paid one way or another. Although lately, I've had to eat double doses of humble pie for some of those bills to be covered, etc. So it goes.

And there are the many other reports (16 or so) of these testimonies that can be found in the file archives of this blog.

But yesterday...during one of my lowest moments in the undercover agent ranks...after frantically driving around town dressed in professional clothing that's highly unlike my usual undercover daily digs...and fruitlessly searching for employment that doesn't exist or wouldn't be fitting to my skill level (or lack of skill level) or, dammit, I just can't forsee the CEO telling me to throw a net there*...

..we received not one, but two unexpected blessings.

And although these gifts won't fully cover our bills (not that I'm ungrateful, by any means) nor keep me from fishing for financial opportunities...

...to say the least, these blessings were a cool drop of water in this dry desert.

And a huge reminder that the CEO has not abandond me on the field**.

Thank you CEO.



* yes, I know. Please save your smart-ass comments about how beggars can't be choosers and all that crap. I ain't asking you for anything. And I know good and well I could probably flip burgers and/or sack groceries somewhere. This is a very humbling experience for me and a difficult one in hearing the CEO. If I am to support my family as a grocery boy, then I will be the best damn grocery boy in the fair mother city. Just give me time to feel this out...

** The Bossman, who's a retired federal agent with 20+ years profesional experience, once explained to me that sometimes in order to protect the life of an on-duty undercover agent, the headquarters will completely cut off all lines of communications to him as well as erase all files of his existence and thus issue a "persona non grata" (a non-existent person) status on the agent. This is how I have felt much of 2006. Seems to also be reminiscent of "why have you forsaken me" jive as well.