Wednesday, September 06, 2006

desert ramblings

Funny how it is in our culture: your identity is usually wrapped up in what you do to make money.

How did we get there?

This local agent recently wrote on the subject of identity. So I'll refrain because I probably can't put it any better than she did.

And now for true confession time...

I came up with this whole Agent B gimmick so I could have an identity. You know..."So what kind of work do you do?"

"I work undercover. I'm with the department of injustice"

Yep. That shuts them up real fast.

I'm tempted to say "I don't know who I am anymore". But really I do. It's just a tough season right now.

These days I don't sleep much. And I hardly eat. Like I need that. I'm already too thin...never could break that 150 lb barrier. Maybe someday.

Today, at an undisclosed location in the fair mother city, crying (yes, like a call me a wus), the CEO reminded me of all the times I cried out to him over the years:
Healing my manic depression - 1995.
Wife - 1998.
Wanting to get out of retail sales and into something I couldn't even helping people and having a free schedule - 1999.
Moving out of an efficiency and into a house - 2003.

And I listed all the great things I'm thankful for. There's many.

The CEO is good.


Matthew said...

I agree.

We're still waiting to hear what kind of job you're looking for.

Agent B said...

matthew - I haven't announced what kind of work I'm looking for because I don't know what I'm looking for. The field is pretty wide open for me, I suppose.

I've spent 5 years in broadcasting and 3 years in retail sales. Hated all of it, but coped fairly well. I was (am) a director of a non-prof for 7 years. That's gotta be valuable to someone.

I guess...something that pays decent money and something with a schedule that works for raising a family (M-F 8-5?).

That seems like a tall order in the fair mother city. Especially for one like me with limited skills and who hasn't worked a real job since 1999.

Nothing is impossible with our god. The right thing will happen at the right time.

And then again...maybe I'm not even supposed to be looking. I'm just having a knee jerk reaction to my current situation. Who knows...