daily bread

OK, so the fact is...every little thing that comes our way these days is a miracle.

"Thing" as in anything. Joy, friendship, materials, sustinance, whatever.

But more specifically materials. And maybe more specifically sustinance, you know, like food.

I mean it's weird. I have no effing job. And I'm actually trying. Because I don't know what else to do anymore.

OK, so maybe I'm not trying that hard. I haven't applied at say McDonalds. Nor have I taken a job that was basically being handed to me: an $8 an hour early morning shift work wiping the butts of mentally handicapped people.

And god bless the fast food folks and especially the early morning butt wipers. Because you are the ones that make this world operate. And I truly mean that.

But somehow, me and my family have made it on faith this far. So, if we're going to step outside the faith realm and back into the real-life working world...then dammit, I want to have a halfway decent schedule that will allow me to see my wife and kids at normal times of the day. Not the shifting nurse's late night/early morning schedule like I had when I worked in TV broadcasting. Am I being too picky?

And $8 an hour wouldn't even cover our ass. We've done better living on faith. Go figure.

Maybe I can't afford to be picky. But I've made it this far in life trusting this wacky litmus test of mine I call my "gut". When I follow my gut, I never go wrong. And my gut says "stay away from the shift work gig".

But anyway...for over a year this agent blog report has written files and files on living outside the rat-race. I mean...we're missionaries. I guess.

But the CEO of the universe has always provided somehow. Even though it's getting ridiculous now as I feel like I'm becoming more of an embarassment to my parents as opposed to a blessing. Not that I've ever let parents dictate my hearing the CEO. Even Jesus advised us to leave our mother and father. Maybe even hate them. I don't know.

But I'm becoming more of a burden to them instead of a blessing. And I don't like that.

But all this to say...

Somehow or another, for the last month or so we have managed to keep receiving bread for free.

Bread. Literally.

Jack and his family gave us a home-made loaf recently.

Uncle Kurt would bring some by our place every other night for a few weeks. I never knew why he brought bread. We never asked him for it.

Frieda Sanford, the most resourceful person in the poverty culture of the fair mother city, has always managed to find bread and other food items and share them.

Like today.

She had a freaking garage full of bread. The food bank was having a one-day-only mass bread give-away. And, of course, Frieda was there. She always knows about these things.

So she loaded he little car with tons of bread products and is giving them out to her friends and family all over town. Including us. She would have got more bread if her car was bigger. She actually left her daughter's friend at the food bank to find her own ride home so she could have room for the bread.

I know we westerners have a culture of hording and storing up things indefinately. And The Book mentions several examples (mostly old testiment) involving storing and preparing for the future.

But why is daily bread such a hard concept for me?

Thank you CEO.