Sunday, April 13, 2008

evang-e-droppings #014

...Yes...can you kiss my ass?

And unfortunately I can come up with about nine other smart ass responses to this new tract I found. But I'll let you, dear reader*, create your own should you choose to participate.

Need I any more evidence against the loveless evangelical tactics of tract passers?

As soon as I saw this tract I could predict where it was going. Yup. The Ten commandments. It's sad how quick they cut to the chase on the back of the card: "Now for the big question...How many of the Ten Commandments can you name?"

I'm seriously wondering how much longer I should continue this evang-e-droppings eradication operation. I mean, this can't be good for my spiritual health. Like the blog from the Lubbock group I finally quit reading, finding some of these tracts make me more and more smart-ass and cynical daily. Please help me out here, if you have any suggestions.

I should take up butterfly collecting or something.

*always a special nod in the direction of dear Uncle George.


mike said...

i think you should find as many of these as you can. fill them all out, both sides.

then drop them all off at the littering church.

what do i get if i can name ten beers and the ten commandments?

the real test would be to slam 10 beers, and then try and name the 10 commandments.

Agent B said...

Slam 10 beers...

So far, you are the winner in this response contest.

(still laughing)

matty m said...

Man those beers look good.

Anonymous said...

I preached a sermon in a preaching course at school on "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ox." I figured it was a timely message that was sorely needed on the college campus! ;)

(Hey, that should get me at least second place)

What can I say...? Well, it will be convluted if I get thoughtful. I mean, I think Rick Warren's consumer friendly point missing excercize in getting purpose driven was surely used of God when the crack head bruiser in South Carolina a couple of years ago shot up the court room where he was on trial and fled on foot and got away! only to bump into the pretty little blonde (also crack addict (or was it meth?)) when he took her hostage in her apartment. Hopefully you recall this story from the evening news...? Anyway, she had a copy of Purpose Driven Life at hand and began reading it to the gunman. He ultimately surrendered having been disarmed by her kindness and grace which she drew from the book....

Point being, God can and will use our stinky shit to his advantage on occasion. Recall Joseph in Egypt telling his brothers upon their long awaited reunion that what they had meant for evil, God used for Good.

Having said that, let me reiterate, I believe the tracts are shameless bull shit. Trite "Christians" with their trite agendas are not answering the Kingdom call.

I suspect, and remember you did ask for "help" and at present this is what I have to offer...., that any more than one or two posts on this subject with the viewpoint you take is about at malproductive as the tracts themselves. Those of us who are going to, by-n-large, "get it" have got it.

I, on the other hand, just watched the movie FIGHT CLUB the other night, a short-list fav of mine, with my Dad and we discussed the profound comparisons (despite the many obvious contrasts) of that story with the story of Jesus and his Kingdom message. Very stimulating.... And though the movie is edgy and cynical, not to mention very foul mouthed and crude (not for sensitive souls), I suddenly find myself asking how it is that soooooooooo many "Christian" people who devote their lives and utterly depend upon a man for their salvation who made care for poor, prostitutes, sick, and captive prisoner types such a profound center piece of his life and mission for ruling the world can so casually disregard these things at every practical level (except the OCCASIONAL lip service)! And when they, as is often the case, use stupid tracts like this thinking that have served him. Did he use tracts? Well, it could be argued that he does, but that surely was not part of his Galilean program, now was it? And certainly he was no post victorian, post-Lutheran, prude with all the neurotic uptight agendas that accompany such "Christians" so often these days, now was he.

Basically, I am with you man!!! 100% And I figure that until you find a tract story that is either particularly novel or timely for some particular future occasion, you should really consider letting this series go, because it does have a way of getting you down. Don't let it.

Instead, keep building upon the ministry you are given and help us see it rise above the sewage of bull shit "Christianity" through which it pokes out like a much needed island, or place to set your foot where you don't have to step "in it". And granted this means the periodic contrast post, but keep the focus on the work of God rather than the bull shit.

Blessings to you my brutha!

The MIA Agent X

Anonymous said...


I have been inspired to collect them as well.

Sunday-Monday as they fly into my yard from the three
Churches that surround my place over on the north side

However my son and I have also started picking them up
on the off days.

We just need to get the wife and girl to do the same now.

I have come to the conclusion that it would be best to open a new
Church for Celts in town. Because out of the 206 they have
now and the 2000plus associated buildings this is one that I do not see yet.


Anonymous said...

Okay, betcha never got a comment like this one before:

Basically, I am lonely and bored. I pretty much quit blogging last year, which I am sure improved the blog-o-sphere over all. And I got divorced, my mom died, I lost my job and since then I have steadily become about as lost as a Christian can be. Now I figure I need to be clear and say that I deeeeeeeply appreciate the assembly I belong to, Vandelia Church in Lubbock, because without them I am sure I would literally be dead now! No exageration. But the story aint over yet; it could still pan out that way....

Anyway, I have taken a couple of weeks off to visit my dad in Seattle, WA. The thing is... I don't have a lot to do here. While there are a handful of friends that I love here, I am not really that close with them. And hanging around Dad's place, while affording me opportunities to mow and straighten up the yard and such odd jobs etc, there is a lot of down time! No money to hit the town particularly. I did go to the local Free Methodist Church this weekend where the youth group put on an impressive presentation promoting awareness of and solutions to the "human trafficking" problem. It turns out Seattle is on the short list of 8 worst cities in North America for the modern day slave trade. I learned a lot. And this church is taking on the problem, but then Free Methodists have a strong abolitionist history - go rent the movie AMAZING GRACE and see more.

But, I am afforded tons and tons and tons of access to the internet here at Dad's. The thing is... I am not really much of a computer guy, nor a web enthusiast. I have explored a bunch of you tube videos, the web sites of some favorite rock bands, but the blogs are what I know best of the web. And so, I am out patroling good blogs and looking for some converstion.... Thus I stopped here. And I keep checking in looking for someone to engage me.

So, this is the hand I am delt... I am lonely and bored and this is my pathetic attempt at reaching out. I am hoping that it is somewhat intellectually stimulating. However, a good fight would be fun too. (I prefer not to fight... my life is too fragile for that kind of shit.)

Anyway, if my comment here does not stir a response, then please post something else I can respond to.


Your friend,
Agent X

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah,

I could say that the Dalai Lama is in Seattle this week on a world tour speaking to a packed stadium at UW yesterday. I don't know what opinions anyone reading here has on the Chinese olympic games, the contraversy in Tibet or the Dalai Lama. And basically, though this is the top billing local news here these days, a pale issue compared to the FLDS raid in San Angelo, I really don't know much about the Dalai Lama in general nor do I care, but if it strikes the interest of any readers here, well I am that desperate. And this has been a heluva runon sentence brought to you by Agent X.


Agent B said...

As always Agent X, thanks for stopping by.

I was hoping your life was on the upswing by now. Enjoy your time with your dad and the Seattle scene. I'd love to visit that place someday...

And sorry. I don't have anything new to present just yet. Reports are made fewer and farther between these days due to lack of time and lack of brain power. So it goes.

All the best to you.

And I don't know if I'm ready to quit collecting the tracts from the streets yet. I admit, they are not good for my conscious at this time (kind of like picking up porn). But between 20-60 of them are littered every weekend. And no one else seems to care about this but me...