Sunday, August 03, 2008

to hell and back

Excuse my brief internet absence. It was an accidental yet necessary hiatus which may continue throughout the future as I ponder and reluctantly observe my own carnality.

This secret agent is going through a deep cleansing from headquarters.

I have begun permanent maneuvers to remove a single root of life-long sins. I believe this to be a very necessary move to bring my family and I into the calling of our life. We have been in deep training for it these past five years of desert wandering.

Meanwhile, I have done some very un-agent b-like things such as: join a men’s group at a local church. Yes. You heard me right. The time is now. Also, I’ve subjected myself to another’s cleansing prayer ministry of sorts and discovered a handful of deep seated issues that are freeing me as of this writing.

Hell is a very lonely place. I don’t ever want to go back there.

During my 24 hour hell get-a-way I contemplated killing off “agent b” and thus disposing of this blog. I now believe that to be a knee-jerk reaction. But future reports might be more sparse as I purposely avoid family-ignoring devices in my life such as the computer. Hey...I’ve discovered things like: my daughter loves to sing and my kids are good with play-doh. I’m not too shabby with the play-doh either.

In the past, I have avoided the practice of soliciting blog comments. So I do not seek your pat on the back. But if the agent b files hasn’t helped anyone’s faith journey one iota, then maybe it’s time to wind it down. We’ll see.

Thanks for your time.


Amanda said...

I'm sad that I won't be able to read about you and your family as much now. But I totally understand wanting to focus more on the family! I have a rule that I'm only allowed to use the computer after work or on the weekends only if the kids are gone or doing something that they don't need or want me involved in. (Like eating chocolate cake that I don't need to look at!) I think listening to my kids sing, tell jokes, act out a skit or whatever is so much better than the stuff on the radio or TV!

Leanne said...


I just "unplugged" myself. No more internet or basic cable tv (w/out cable we get TBN, FOX and ABC, NOT my beloved PBS-sniff!).

What I've found is that I now have time. Time to breathe and focus and not feel like I need to be available to everyone BUT my son and my son, for lack of something better to do is reading BOOKS! ;)

It's a good feeling.


smh00a said...

Stay around, buddy. I read you every day, and your faithfulness in seeking out God's call on your life in the fair mother city is inspiring.

On the other side of things, do what's best for your spiritual walk and your family. If in any way this blog is preventing you from loving your neighbor in the way that you should, shut it down without reservations.



Terri said...

Ditto Steve. Ditto.

maventheavenger aka jamie said...

It's always good to hear about other travelers.

trish said...

Glad you didn't stop and hell and sniff the dead, burnt fried to a crisp roses, too long. I look forward to and enjoy your perspective, walk, realizations, criticism of status quo, and general ramblings. I believe you to be a talented, creative person that has a far reaching effect on many lives. I feel privileged to see a glimpse when allowed. I have personally grown spiritually in struggling along side you virtually and IRL.