Saturday, December 01, 2007

quitting


In reference to the last report, where I mentioned that my family and I are either on a potential spiritual wilderness journey, or we’re just weird and I’m an idiot (I lean towards the former, yet there’s that possibility of the latter)...

After about two years or more of fumbling through prayers and communications in general to the CEO of the universe, I think I finally refined these pathetic ramblings into a brief, three-tiered statement:

Are we in the wilderness? If so, what is the task/life you are preparing us for? If not, open some doors for me to move on into a new direction in life (ie: get out of the fair mother city and get a real job).

Throughout The Book, the wilderness is always where a) a person has no resources except the CEO and b) a person is broken of everything in his/her life in order to go into some new task, ministry, whatever.

For what it’s worth, I’m still praying this three-tiered deal like the persistent widow in Luke 18. So one day on the job at Son & Dad Tree Service, Inc, The Son has me do my absolute least favorite part of this job – split wood.

Truth is, I’m not a very strong guy. I have a high level of endurance because of my thin size so I can work hard all day. But to go at something with repetitive strength wears me out quicker than a weak kitten after 10-15 minutes. Then I’m worthless the rest of the day.

I’ve been working on this small pile of mesquite to split for a few weeks. And every other day The Son makes the pile bigger.

So it’s the end of my day and after about 10 minutes of splitting I figure I’ll just quit and go home. The pile will be waiting for me later. But for some weird-ass reason, I get this notion to keep at it. I kept saying I’d quit after two more. Then another two. And so forth.

And before I knew it the whole pile was finished in like 20 minutes. And I wasn’t wore out. And I got better with each one.

I know this example and my analogy sounds so gay, but maybe this was the CEO showing me about sticking with it through the wilderness.

6 comments:

mike said...

i am a very gifted and talented worker. i excel at doing the impossible.

yet

i love the jobs which allow me to turn off my brain and just work.
i love splitting wood. there is always a sense of accomplishment.

i could split wood all day long, even the twisted madrones, esp the madrones.

it is so simple, you have these rounds of twisted, hard, knotted madrones to split into stove sized quarters. you set the round on an old stump and swing the axe until it is split into halves and quarters small enough to burn.

then you start all over again with the next round. oh how i miss my old place with the wood burning stove.

NaNcY said...

a good post for advent.
this post speaks to the heart of all of us. we are all, in our heart of heart, waiting for the return of the Son of God. we are all waiting. and while we wait, God is with us, is in us by the Holy Spirit. God uses us now, we just do not always know it. If we continue to love Jesus and have Him in our heart and be thankful and humble, God can use us right where we are...with the people that we live with and our neighbors, by showing them love and acceptance and just plain being there for them. God uses most of us in small unassuming ways.

unassuming: adjective: not arrogant or presuming (Example: "Unassuming to a fault, skeptical about the value of his work")

it is hard for all of us to accept this. we want more for us and our family at times. we want to see that what we do makes a difference.

i went to a memorial for a 82 year old greek woman yesterday. she was a strong woman ( because she went through a lot of hard life) and not shy in her opinions, yet she was full of the love of Jesus and was very accepting of everyone as a daughter, sister, son, brother...and refered to all in this way. she made a difference in people's lives around her.

God loves us. I pray that God may give us His grace to see us through to be with Him. I pray that God will always be in us and work through us, every day of our lives. in the name of His Son, Jesus.

God bless you, brother.

NaNcY said...

ps..she was not strong physically. she carried a cane because of a bad leg that she had for many years. she worked menial jobs for many years when she was younger. i ment she was strong in heart. and by the way...i have stories that the cane came in hand to poke people a bit here and there. a lot of the people got a laugh out of that at the service.

she was a short, small, old woman with a lot of spunk. her main phrases were, thank God and i'm OK.
often together.
i'm OK...thank God. :-)

Barbara said...

I read your every post and most of the time, what you say resonates with me. I've spent my own time in the wilderness - I didn't know at the time that I was being taken care of, but I came thru.

I wanted to take a moment and ask you to think about this statement of yours:

"I know this example and my analogy sounds so gay, but maybe this was the CEO showing me about sticking with it through the wilderness."

Are you using the term "gay" to mean weak? I think it affirms the use of "gay" in a derogatory manner in a way that I haven't heard you do before.

Agent B said...

Hi Barbara.

I wasn't meaning anything derogatory towards anyone.

Gay as in lighthearted or carefree.

Barbara said...

thanks for the clarification - I hear the phrase a lot amoung younger folk and I try to call people on it. I think that words are very important.

I also want to say that the work you do in picking up the handouts is great.