sometimes, faith can suck #002

Most don’t really think about the freakish faith antics in that which is Noah’s Ark.

Just the word’s “Noah” and “ark” conjures up Hallmark-ish mental images of boats, rainbows, and smiling cartoon animals. That’s really weird.

It’s probably the one tale in The Book that is openly accepted in the realm of non-believers. I’ve seen greeting cards, posters, and various room decor with happy-go-lucky images of a smiling old guy on a boat with animals – often sold in places that are not particularly “christian stores”.

Noah is like a Disney character or something.

My daughter turned one last summer. At her birthday party a neighbor gave her, get this, a “Noah’s Ark Playset”...from Wal-Mart. Yup. Noah is a mere action figure at my house. Complete with an unrealistic boat. And smiley-faced animals.

And thank god Wal-Mart left out that post-flood scene of Noah drunk and naked in the tent.

I’m still waiting for “The Ezekiel Playset”, with the fire-cooking dung feature.

For some weird reason, I recently read this story. As best as I could, I read it keeping the Saturday morning cartoon Noah out of my head as much as possible. I even tried to avoid the thoughts that plagued me in my youth: the logistics of gathering every freaking animal in the world and caring for them on a boat for a year. That’s really weird.

Instead, I wondered when the CEO told him, “build an ark”...I wonder what that was like. I mean, HEARING the CEO. Was it a real audible command that no one could mistake or ignore? Was the CEO standing in front of him in 3D physical form, pointing and instructing? Or was it more like how I sometimes think I hear the CEO: some vague, weird-ass thought that came in my head.

And to follow through with the massive task that was unexplainably weird: building a football field-sized boat in the middle of the desert when it hasn’t rained in forever.

What’s that like? Was Noah happy and excited when it finally rained because he realized it wasn’t voices in his head, it really WAS god? Meanwhile, all his friends were drowning and screaming.

Thinking you heard the CEO tell you to do something that is laughable and makes no sense to the surrounding world, then acting upon it and sticking it out for years...

What’s that like?