evang-e-droppings #012

The weather was perfect for collecting evangelical trash this weekend. And I had a rare opportunity to be accompanied by my wife and kids. The day before I worked two different jobs totaling 15 hours, so since we didn’t get to see each other much that day, we made this a family affair.

We netted an above average of 39 tracts. My 19-month old girl brought a little basket with her and collected tracts like easter eggs. It was funny.

Last week when I was alone, I found about 59. But I was out sick the previous two weekends, so I’m sure most of those have been stacking up over my absence.

I have a confession. I am addicted to evangelical porn.

Seriously. Since the initiation of this Evang-e-Dropping Eradication Operation, I have done research and tried to crack into the mind of the evangelicals who pass out tracts and employ the often abusive tool of witnessing with words on a proverbial soap box.

One of the things I stumbled across in my research was a blog written by one such individual on behalf of a small group of tract-passers and “witnesses”. They reside and operate in a nearby West Texas town. So obviously I lurked and paid attention as we live near each other.

Their blog is written in a similar agent format to mine, calling posts “reports” and such on various “witness” outings. But our similarities end there. This troupe does not employ the Matt 6:1-4 mantra as they are proud to post amateur video of themselves “preaching” the gospel to unsuspecting random passers and/or captive audiences.

Also, the tone of their writing often belittles those who are different from them in any way.

One recent video shows the writer of this blog standing on a small step ladder and yelling across the street to a crowd. There was a mass of people waiting outside to hear visiting President Clinton who was in their town campaigning for his wife. The writer/yeller often used various subtle debate tactics and mildly demeaned the handful of crowd members who politely challenged his method, not his message. The rest of the crowd simply looked embarrassed for the poor yeller.

I know this example is extreme, but I can’t seem to alter my current opinion:

Evangelicals are assholes.

I assume this yeller fantasizes that he/she are like John the Baptist or perhaps Jesus himself by calling on the masses to repent and change their ways for the end is near and very real.

But these folks seem to lack some sort of credibility. Or maybe it’s lack of respect for the people they address. People wanted to hear John. They inconvenienced themselves and traveled to the desert to hear him.

People wanted to hear Jesus. 5000+ followed him to a remote hillside on various occasions. I don’t think people today are going out of their way to hear evangelicals like this YouTube yeller.

But none the less, I can’t seem to stop lurking on this person’s blog. It’s fake and alluring like porn. Perhaps I should delete it cold turkey from my blog reader.

I need help.