exposed

It’s official: as of Tuesday night, Obi-Wan is legless. And therefore he is more high-needs and high maintenance than ever. Change isn’t easy for him. He’s done everything himself his entire life.

Obi-Wan is still in the hospital, recovering from surgery before his move to rehab. His niece Emma Mae returned to Waco for the time being. His son Lamont returned to Houston to pack up his belongings and make the move to the fair mother city.

So meanwhile, Obi-Wan’s only caregivers are the nurses at the hospital, and my wife and I.

I’m discovering that hospital nurses and aides can only do so much. I mean, Obi-Wan needs help doing everything now.

Everything.

And I’m finding my initial reluctance in aiding him with various bodily tasks to be shallow and pathetic. Fair weather friend-ish. I’m exposed to be a fraud.

Sure, it was easy (for me) to be Obi-Wan’s friend when he only needed: his yard done, someone to sit with him during the lonely hours, share a meal on occasion, drive him to the store, assist with cashier transactions, and so forth.

But why am I not as overjoyed to assist with: urinations, defecations, constant readjusting himself in the bed for comfort and the outbursts that accompany all of this.

I feel like an exposed fraud.