Outside the church (club) Part I

I have not been part of a standard church group for almost 3 years. I am a Christian. I'm a drop-dead Jesus freak and not ashamed to say so - he's my friend. I am absolutely in love with the poor and impoverished of our fair mother city and I want to introduce them to this friend of mine.

Somehow after stumbling into my true calling as a minister to the poor through the izzy group (which has imbedded me within the poverty culture of our fair mother city) not being part of "the church" seemed to be a natural progression.

Oh man...church going Christians who hear this are ruthless. They take it as if I've personally insulted them. And believe me...I'm not trying to get them to 'join me' in some sort of idealistic crusade of bolting from the church. But on average, many of them are over zealous in getting me and the family into church. I think their reaction exposes their own fleshy idols, but I won't push that issue. In social settings I'm always asked, "so where do you go to church?" My smart-ass side usually says, "hey, I don't GO to church. I AM the church". Then they say with a nervous laugh, "Ha ha. OK. No but really, where do you go?" Truthfully, I chicken out and skip the smart-ass comment and mumble something like, "we just worship in our home" because it's true, that's what we do. This response receives both positive and negative comments about some sort of home church movement. Mostly negative.

My spiritual upbringing was typical yet weird. Or maybe 'typical' IS weird. I grew up in Houston. Only child. My father had a vague baptist background but never seriously commited his young life to my friend. My mother was completely unchurched growing up. Bingo - I'm born. They have an epiphany (which I am convinced was the Holy Spirit, aka The Ghost) in that they found themselves new, young parents who wanted to "raise their son right" and felt that 'church' might have something to do with that. They sought out Christians who gladly showed them my friend Jesus. Boom. When I was 3 mom & dad were baptised at the church of Christ and have been members ever since, thus raising me the same. I commited myself to this friend Jesus at age 11, although I later wondered if I knew what I was doing since baptism was like a right-of-passage for youth in the coc and I didn't want to be left out. Nor did I want that loud preacher visiting my home one night unexpectedly. I had no deep family roots in the coc and thus searched for more of this G-O-D in my college and post college years (even though I attended a coc sponsored school).

After college I later suffered through a diagnosed manic depression illness fueled by many things, namely idolotry through music and a messed up relationship with a girl I dated for 2.5 years. Depression IS miserable. You see no way out. Things that once made you happy don't anymore. Medication just hides the effects of depression...but it's still there. Like sweeping dirt under a rug. Then alone in my room one night I remembered my friend whom I barely knew by that point. I pray, "JESUS, heal me of this. I want out". Boom. I am healed. No more depression. Can't explin it. I stumble across a group of semi-charismatic coc-ers who embrace me and during this period my life changes. Later I get involved in a full-blown charismatic church where I meet and befriend the poor. After 3 years of much political ballyhoo between the church and it's unwanted child 'izzy' (the benevolent ministry of the church), here I am churchless and loving it.

More later...